AITA for blowing up and cursing out a woman for not controlling her kids at my mom's wake?
Picture this: a funeral hall, the air thick with the scent of lilies and sorrow, a casket gleaming under the fluorescent lights. My mom’s wake—no, not a “funny” wake, but the kind where people come in black tuxedos and you’re secretly hoping the grief will wear off before the cake arrives. I’m 17, clutching my hoodie like a shield, and my world is already a pile of broken glass because my mom died of cancer when I was just shy of 18. That’s the prelude.
Fast‑forward to the main event: a casket, a line of mourners, and two kids—one with a ponytail that could have been a small elephant’s trunk and the other with a grin that said, “I’m about to become a legend.” They stroll up to the casket, their mom—whose relationship to my mom is as mysterious as the plot of Inception—whispering to her like a secret. The kids, bored to tears, decide it’s the perfect time for a game of Touch the Dead Body.
They nudge the casket, whispering, “I touched her! I touched her!” The room, already a solemn sea of black, suddenly turns into a live-action sitcom. I can’t keep my composure. I’m standing there, holding my heart, and I yell, “Have some fucking respect! This isn’t the place to let your kids run around playing touch the dead body!” The room goes silent, the kids’ faces morph into a mix of horror and confusion, and the mother—who had been chatting with someone about her favorite coffee—stares at me like I just told her the world is ending, then storms out with her two little hurricanes.
I step out the back door, clutch my hoodie tighter, and pray that the universe will give me a moment of calm. When I return, the chatter resumes at a whisper level, but I can feel eyes on me—like a group of paparazzi waiting to photograph my next dramatic move.
I’ve told this story a handful of times. Some people think I’m an asshole, others think I was the hero of the day. The big question: Am I the asshole? 🤔
Comments
NTA. Those kids didn’t get it. To them it was probably a random stranger and they were bored stiff. Which is why it was their mom’s responsibility to teach them better.
Could you have handled it more tactfully? Theoretically yes, but you were 17, devastated, and caught off guard. And frankly that reaction probably brought home the reality of what was going on to those kids far better than any amount of lecturing would have done.
I mean your second paragraph is really it for me. Even if OP was TA in the situation, it’s psychotic to not see it as a symptom of grief that needs comforting. OP was severely let down by any adults there who did not immediately reassure her, and let her know how understandable it is that she was upset regardless of the reaction.
And frankly that reaction probably brought home the reality of what was going on to those kids far better than any amount of lecturing would have done.
Exactly. The kids touched fire and learned it’s hot. That’s how growing up goes sometimes and it’s often the best teacher.
They were doing something extremely, extremely disrespectful. They didn’t know prior, but they sure did after.
In my mind immediate family get a pass on making a scene at a wake of their loved one. Don’t worry about it.
NTA at all x 1000000000000000000
Honestly i thought you handled the insane kid touching dead bodies well. As a parent, i would be mortified if my child considered horsing around at a wake, but that’s why you don’t bring kids of a certain age to a wake to begin with. Every single person that gave you their negative opinion needs to put themselves in a teenager’s shoes that just lost her main parent. Sorry for your loss and try to remove any negative feeling about spazzing on them kids. Their parents deserved it for sure.
TL;DR
When you’re 17, grieving, and the “fun” kids decide to turn a funeral into a playground, you go full‑blow‑up mode. The moral? Kids learn the hard way that touching a casket is not a game, and the mother gets a stern lecture for letting her little hurricanes loose. The community is split between “you’re a hero” and “you’re the asshole,” but hey, at least no one touched the dead body again.