Coworker Assumed I Was Pregnant
Ever get a baby shower present from a coworker who’s totally sure you’re expecting? Picture this: you’re walking through the break room, clutching a box of baby socks, and your boss—who’s got five kids and a sixth‑sense for “pregnancy glow”—asks, “How far along are you?” You’re so flabbergasted you almost drop the gift, but before you can apologize, your brain starts doing a quick mental tally: “Is she judging my waistline? Am I secretly a secret super‑mom?”
I’m not even kidding. I was in the middle of a coffee break, eyes wide, when the “mom‑to‑be” vibe hit. I asked her why she thought I might be pregnant, and she explained, “I have five kids; I can read that glow.” She had literally assumed I was pregnant before I even asked. Spoiler: I’m not, and it’s practically impossible for me to be, at least not yet.
I’ve got a doctor who said I’m a healthy weight, I work out, and I’m not… any sort of “fat.” But the moment she handed me the adorable onesie, my brain started replaying the phrase “pregnancy glow” and wondering if she just thought I was “glowing” because of… I don’t know—maybe she’s a glutton for life’s little surprises.
The real kicker? She gave me a baby gift before asking if I was pregnant. That’s the kind of social faux pas that makes you wish you could hit pause and re‑watch the scene. It’s like showing up at a party in a tux and being handed a bouquet of roses. What?
I’m trying to brush it off, telling myself I’m not “fat” and that she probably just has the baby‑sensing super‑power of a seasoned mom. I’ll just play it cool, thank her for the gift, and maybe ask if she’s got any “glow‑detector” tips for the future.
Comments
“Sure thing. I once walked into a department store and asked a woman when her baby was due. She replied, ‘I had her four weeks ago!’ I was 16. Lesson learned.”
“My friend and her husband were strolling through a store when the husband saw a woman with a newborn. He was shocked she was pregnant again—apparently the baby was still a few weeks old. I just whispered the secret to my friend and not the mother. Classic “don’t poke the pot” move.”
“I was teased for taking two cookies after a meeting by a colleague who said, ‘Eating for 2?’ She’s in her 50s, and I had just returned from maternity leave after having twins and losing 52 lbs in 12 weeks. People quickly caught on, and the next day I received a pile of kids’ clothes and a heartfelt apology.”
“Ha, I’ve done that too 😳. I was older than you, definitely should’ve known better!”
“You only do that once!!”
TL;DR
Coworker gives me a baby gift, assumes I’m pregnant, and asks how far along I am. I’m not, and the whole thing is as awkward as a clown at a wedding. Comments share the same awkward “baby‑guessing” mishaps.