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Go ask these 3 people if they don’t want their shirt! What a joke! (This year’s bonus)

· 3 min read

Last Wednesday, the office decided that the best way to celebrate “all‑staff holiday cheer” was to hand out long‑sleeve corporate T‑shirts that looked like a bad fashion decision on a giant billboard. The company, which prides itself on paying “nice” IT wages, had no bonus. Instead, they offered a breakfast that was “so good it made the coffee taste like disappointment” and a shirt that would fit a small elephant.

The protagonist of our story (no need to name them—let’s call them The Shirt‑Skeptic) tried on a size “L” (the only size that actually existed). The admin assistant, armed with a clipboard and a sense of entitlement, labeled them “L” and handed over a shirt that could have been used as a blanket. The Shirt‑Skeptic, who had recently shed 60 pounds (and apparently still has a wardrobe crisis), texted the admin: “I need a medium or maybe a small—just to keep my dignity.” The admin replied, “Sure thing, we’ll save S/M for you!”

Fast forward to the next day: the shirt arrives, the admin says “It’s in my office—just swing by.” The protagonist visits, and the admin dramatically announces: “Oh, the mediums and smalls are gone! Everyone took theirs yesterday.” The admin then demands that the protagonist go ask three random coworkers if they don’t want their size M. The protagonist’s internal monologue: “I’m not going to be a shirt‑broker for a garment I might never wear.”

In short, the office’s idea of “team bonding” turned into a logistical nightmare, a trust exercise gone wrong, and a subtle reminder that benefits and $$ can only keep you sane for so long.

What the Redditors said​

“You had me at ‘no bonus this year.’”
The original poster’s audience could almost hear the collective sigh of a thousand IT workers.

“OMG. We got the same thing one year—polo shirts with our company’s logo on it. My boss asked me what size I wear, and I tell him a L. He says, ‘I’m getting you an XL, because I want you to be able to wear it. I’m getting an XXL for reference.’ Dude is 6'5" and over 300 lbs. I'm a 6' tall woman but not obese. I was like, ‘Then why did you even ask me what size I wanted if you were just going to get me whatever you wanted?’ Fun Christmas. For reference, I've NEVER worn that polo. I WFH.”
A side‑by‑side saga of corporate “generosity” that could have been a meme before it was even a meme.

TL;DR​

  • Office gives out shoes (sorry, shirts) instead of bonuses.
  • Admin promises a size, delivers none.
  • Protagonist gets tasked with a shirt‑scavenger hunt.
  • Commenters nod in solidarity, recalling their own “gift” polo disasters.

Bottom line: The company’s gift was a lesson in how not to manage a holiday party. The shirts are still probably out there, and the admin is still somewhere, probably writing a memo about “size distribution.” Enjoy the irony!