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Nightmare Coworker thinks he's untouchable, slips up

· 4 min read

In the bustling, low‑budget world of the local discount store, one cashier’s day‑to‑day antics could fill a sitcom episode. Picture a small crew—two to four people—running a supermarket that feels more like a small town than a retail chain. The senior full‑time employee, known internally as the “vice manager,” is the glue holding the chaos together.

Enter John: a 25‑year‑old, overly friendly part‑time employee who moonlights at a fast‑food joint. During his interview, he bragged about working for a sister company, claimed he’d mastered all the systems, and lied about his availability. The result? He was fast‑tracked through a half‑hour onboarding process, skipping the 8 hours of mandatory e‑learning that includes Register101, Health & Safety, Conflict Resolution, and Youth Protection.

Because he never completed those courses, John was allowed to operate the register—despite not even knowing how to use it properly. By the second day, he was already gossipping about the vice manager, calling her a “bad” employee and claiming she wouldn’t even make it to the fast‑food place. He’d then compliment the senior employee, saying “wow you did that really well despite being … you know,” before launching into a tirade of baseless rumors about who likes who in the staff room.

His performance on the register was a disaster: his sales numbers were well below the already lax quota. He was denied any vice‑manager duties, especially after it came to light that he didn’t work at the sister store but at a bakery in the same building.

Fast‑forward to month three. Everyone now knows him as the “gossip‑king” of the shift, a self‑congratulatory, underperforming, and generally irritating presence. He even handed in a two‑week notice—only to worsen his performance during his final days. On one shift, his register crashed, causing a 10‑minute blackout. The vice manager, in a rare moment of calm, told him to “go outside and put the carts in the pen.” John, refusing to take the advice, replied, “This dude doesn’t have shit to say here,” to the vice manager’s delight.

John’s punctuality was questionable too: he was 90 minutes late on that particular day after announcing an hour delay. As the shift wound down, he tried to sneak out five minutes early to catch the last public transit, but the vice manager, fed up with his antics, changed his schedule so he would miss the 15‑minute closing shift and lose the pay.

The climax? John was on speaker‑phone, ranting about a co‑worker named Dora who had just finished a late‑night shopping trip. He insulted her in front of everyone, a first for the team, and threatened to “make him exit a little faster and on fire.” Dora, shocked, decided to file a formal complaint with corporate.

The story is a classic case of “if you’re a small store, every mistake feels like a national scandal.” And if you’re a co‑worker who can’t stomach John’s bravado, you’re probably reading this on a Friday afternoon, hoping it’s just another office comedy.

TL;DR: John, a part‑time cashier who lied about training, became the ultimate office gossip and self‑propagandist. He underperformed, insulted a colleague on speaker‑phone, and tried to leave early after firing a warning. Corporate now has a file on him, and the whole store is relieved to see him go.

Reader Reactions​

  • “You WILL provide us with an update, yes? You know, for a xmas/chanukah present?”
  • “It is the law of the land we occupy to follow up on the stories that have yet to end.”
  • “Lovely!”
  • “How much of a fuckup do you have to be to get fired from dollar general?”
  • “I really should change my name, too many negative co worker stories with the name John.”