Restaurant Cook's Dance Moves: A Tale of Hand‑Holding, No, and a Very Angry Man
I recently landed a gig at a local eatery where the chefs seemed to have taken “friendly” to a whole new level.
Every day felt like a covert operation: the kitchen staff would covertly film me (yes, you read that right—“secretly recording me”) and then invade my personal space like we were in a reality‑TV cooking show.
I tried the diplomatic route. I spoke to management, fired off emails to HR, and even sent a heartfelt note to the company’s CEO (who, by the way, lives in a house with a pet goldfish). Nothing happened.
I’m married, which is a well‑known fact. Yet the chefs would comment, “It’s a shame you’re married,” as if that somehow made it more acceptable to touch my hand.
One night, the kitchen was blasting some funky beats and the chefs decided it was time to dance. One of them grabbed my hand and tried to pull me into a spontaneous salsa routine. I politely declined twice. The second time, I said, “No, thanks.” The third time, I fired back in a voice that would make a motivational speaker blush:
“You think I’m scared to lose this job? I’ll scream and curse at the top of my lungs with all these tables in here! Let me go!”
The chef, apparently taking the challenge as a dare, tightened his grip. I responded with a line that would probably earn a gold star from the Office of Workplace Harassment:
“GET YOUR MOTHER‑FUCKING HAND OFF ME, DUMBASS. HOW CAN A DOG UNDERSTAND NO MORE THAN A 48‑YEAR‑OLD MAN WITH A WHOLE WIFE AND KIDS?”
I’ve had enough of people who think they can push boundaries while expecting you to keep your cool. I promise that if I feel pushed, I’ll make the biggest scene possible—because I’m not about to let random strangers in the kitchen dictate my dance moves.
After a few tense minutes, the chef finally let go. As I resumed my work, he came over and asked, “Why were you mad?”
My reply was a masterclass in sarcasm:
“What do you mean, ‘why am I mad?’ I said no several times, and yet you think your little ‘hand‑holding’ is more important? Of course I’m mad. Stop asking me dumbass questions with answers that are obvious. Go home to your wife and kids, and stop forcing women half your age to dance with you!”
I endured this nonsense for a year. On the night I finally decided to quit, I took my tips, walked out, and never looked back.
Comments
Secretly recording you and being invasive is not being nice. They're pushing boundaries on purpose.
Scream in the loudest possible and dramatic manner and say calmly “Oh you startled me.”
Rude people push you up against your own rudeness threshold. Well played.
Harassment is wrong, regardless of genders.
Good response. Be proud!