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The temp who accidentally made the whole team look bad

· 2 min read

Ever wonder what happens when you hire a temp who’s secretly a productivity wizard? Meet Emily, the 11‑day miracle who turned our audit nightmare into a streamlined masterpiece and left us with a new office meme: “Emily speed.”

Original Post
We hired a temp for three weeks during a big audit crunch. Her name was Emily. Quiet, polite, seemed new to corporate life.

Day one: she finished the onboarding packet before HR finished explaining it.
Day two: she sent me the cleanest spreadsheet I’ve ever seen.
Day three: she reorganized our shared drive because it was inefficient.

Then she built an automated tracker that cut our audit backlog by 40%.
Our director walked in like she’d discovered fire: “Let’s all try to follow Emily’s process moving forward.”
Bruh… she was here for 11 business days and became the new standard.

She caught an error in the auditor’s report, handled it with perfect professionalism, and left at the end of her contract saying, “This was fun.”
We still say “Emily speed” when someone finishes a task fast.

Comments (re‑imagined for maximum hilarity)​

  • Someone else: Apparently, they thought hiring a temp was a mistake.
  • Another voice: She didn’t get fired; she finished her contract. Her skill set was so sharp, the rest of us probably didn’t even want her to stay.
  • A quick skeptic: Is she Asian? We hate those… Hahaha.
  • A side‑quest champion: She turned a side task into the main storyline of the office.
  • A magic‑fan: Are you sure she wasn’t Mary Poppins? She definitely had a bag of tricks.

TL;DR​

Emily, the temp who’d finish onboarding before HR finished explaining it, turned a chaotic audit into a 40 % efficiency boost in 11 days. She left us with a new office speed‑meme and a story that sounds too good to be true—except it was.