UPDATE: Older coworker saying ‘I didn’t know that’ card…

Picture this: you stroll into the office, clock in, and you’re greeted by the unmistakable echo of a coworker’s footsteps—slow, deliberate, like a grandpa walking to the kitchen for his morning coffee. You politely ask if you can help him with a task, and instead of a helpful “Sure thing!” you get a full‑blown life‑lesson on appreciation. Cue the dramatic “I didn’t know that” moment.

Here’s the link to the original post I made:

https://www.reddit.com/r/coworkerstories/s/nS51ZF1C0F

So I followed some helpful advice from those in that post. Here’s how it went: I got to work, clocked in and I noticed that coworker head into the office and I followed shortly after. After settling in, I asked him very politely and genuinely what is it that I can help him with because I do see him not grasping certain instructions/tasks I give him.

Well… instead of him answering the question, he pretty much did a 180 degree and told me that he feels I’m not very appreciative of him being there. I was slightly confused because I had no idea to what he was referring to. He went on to explain that I didn’t thank him on completing a task and I should have stayed behind to acknowledge it. He also explained that he told my boss how I belittle him at work and every time we talk on the radio, I sound frustrated and upset with him. He said I’m not the best shift lead he’s worked with because I have some tweaks I need to fix myself. To finish up his statement, he ended it with and I quote “when you get as old as I am like in 35‑40+ years, you’ll learn to understand to be appreciative and have more logic.”

I stood my ground and explained (literally in parts to break down his conversation in front of him) that I for one have not belittled him on the radio and I have coworkers to prove that. Then I said “as to the way I speak on the radio, that impression you’re getting of me is not towards you. Our radios suck and you know it.”

Moving forward to the topic of him feeling not appreciated by me, I had to explain I always say “thank you” and “please.” I continued to say “if you’re looking for me to praise you constantly or hold your hand saying you did a great job, unfortunately I don’t do that and that’s just how my personality is. I am not here to change you and you aren’t here to change me. If I see you doing a well enough job, that means I’m not constantly on you correcting things… simple as that. I’ve done my duty in training you, making sure you’re doing things properly and correctly, and to answer any questions you may have. However it seems you’re taking my instructions or the way I speak as belittling which is not accurate at all. Otherwise, I’m here to punch in, do my job correctly, efficiently, and safely and punch out.”

He stayed quiet and he was trying to go around the bush saying he doesn’t like me but I finished the sentence for him. We both acknowledged we’re not each other’s cup of tea but we tolerate each other just to work well enough. So that’s the tea if anyone was curious to know. Sorry for the long story.

Comments

• As an "older" person (and female) I have to say this guy was an entitled butt-hurt jerk in his 20s. I've worked with many of them. Please don't make this about age.
• The older guy literally made it about age all on his own?? “When you get to my age in 35+-40 years”
• Op, I've worked with someone like this. They pass the blame and shift it on to the other person while they are pretty crappy at doing their job. But they make it harder to dismiss them do to their performance because then it’s retaliation against them, because of the problems they stated.
  Start documenting issues and performance. Start having him take notes or have a document to refer to like the call dept a for this. And have him sign and acknowledge so next time I didn’t know I said you record it. He’s gonna cause issues in the future and it’s going to be hard to get him out.
• Wow. That employee is going to be perpetually butt hurt over one perceived slight or another. If he's within the probation period, hasta.
• Screw that old dude. Ne1 who's got time to nitpick ur work all the time, must not have a lot going on themselves

TL;DR: It’s a classic “I didn’t know that” moment where the coworker turns a simple thank-you into a life‑changing epiphany about appreciation. Just ask for a thank‑you card and move on.