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WIBTA if I scheduled my husband's dog to be euthanized behind his back?

· 3 min read

The “Paws‑for‑Thought” Drama​

Three weeks ago, a seemingly ordinary family got a very literal lesson in “no‑pain, no‑gain.”
Mrs. Smith’s husband’s dog—let’s call him “Fluffy the Sphinx” because he can’t move and looks as wise as a stone—went full‑on paralyzed from the neck down. The vet sent Fluffy to the animal hospital for a two‑day stay, where he received IV fluids, pain meds, and a daily dose of “I‑hope‑you‑feel‑better.”

The good news? Fluffy was still alive.
The bad news? He was about as mobile as a goldfish on a treadmill.

Mrs. Smith was ready to let the vet’s recommendation go: “Surgery would cost a small fortune and might not even work.” She imagined a calm, dignified “good‑bye” for the dog, and a little relief for the family.

Her husband? He was in a deep‑sea of “no‑peanut‑butter‑for‑no‑reason‑surgery” and “I‑will‑watch‑all‑dog‑shows‑and‑hope‑he‑recovers.” He even started drinking to cope.

The house had become a scene from a reality show:

  • Fluffy spends his days on the sofa, occasionally whining, occasionally sleeping, and occasionally flailing when a toddler passes by.
  • Mrs. Smith is pregnant, meaning she can’t lift him or do the “bath‑bath‑bath” routine without a forklift.
  • The husband has been sleeping on the couch every night to stay close to Fluffy, because otherwise the pup would start a full‑blown “bark‑and‑whine‑nightmare.”

Mrs. Smith’s dilemma: Is it acceptable to schedule a quiet, behind‑the‑door euthanasia for Fluffy, or should she get her husband into the conversation first?

The Comments (Reader Take‑Aways)​

Comment 1
NTA, but it’ll be a messy situation when he finds out. He’ll probably see it as betrayal. He’s drinking to cope, so you’re doing the mature thing for the animal, but you’re also risking his emotional state.

Comment 2
YWBTA. He needs to process this in his own way. Don’t set it up behind his back. Sit down, explain the situation, and let him come to a decision.

Comment 3
YWBTA. You should tell him your hopes for Fluffy, that you want him to meet baby #2, and that you can’t give him the care he needs. Ask if he can work from home, hire help, or get family support. Respect both of you.

Comment 4
While the dog unfortunately has to be put down, you need to get him to agree. Bring the vet in for a “progress assessment,” let them give the news, then guide him to therapy.

Comment 5
YWBTA (soft). The dog is miserable. You’re thoughtful about ending the suffering. But if you do it behind his back, you’ll shatter trust forever. Let the vet tell him the truth, then get him into therapy.

Comment 6
YWBTA (soft). Same as above: schedule a vet visit, let the vet explain the grim reality, then get him into therapy.

TL;DR​

If you’re thinking about giving a dog the “silent treatment” (aka euthanasia) behind your husband’s back, remember: it’s a “silent but deadly” drama. Get the vet in, let them break the news, and maybe ask the dog for consent first—just kidding, dogs can’t sign contracts. But seriously, talk to your husband and figure out a plan that keeps everyone (and Fluffy) from feeling like they’re in a bad sitcom.