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AITA for not telling my MIL what my SIL said?

· 3 min read

Picture this: you’re the unofficial “secret‑keeper” of a 14‑year‑old who’s in the thick of the teenage angst apocalypse. You’re the one who’s there for the drama, the tears, and the questionable fashion choices. Then the mother‑in‑law, a.k.a. the “Guardian of All Secrets”, decides she deserves a front‑row seat to every teenage revelation. You’re torn between being the best friend and the family’s unofficial therapist. Spoiler: you’re not the villain here.

The Setup​

  • You: 30‑year‑old sister‑in‑law who’s been a constant in Riley’s life since birth.
  • Riley: 14‑year‑old in the midst of “I‑do‑n’t‑know‑what‑to‑do” mode.
  • MIL: The “I‑must‑know‑everything” mother‑in‑law who thinks she’s the family’s security system.
  • SIL: Riley’s mom, the one who’s supposed to be the “adult” but has a tiny window of trust.

You take Riley out for some sweet therapy (think cupcakes and awkward confessions). She spills her heart out about school drama, her crush, and her mild existential crisis. You listen, you nod, you promise not to blow her cover. Then MIL calls you out on a “secret game” you’re playing with your niece. According to MIL, you’re the adult and should be the one spilling the tea.

The Dilemma​

  • You: “I’m not going to break Riley’s trust. No drama, no secrets.”
  • MIL: “I have a right to know everything. If there's a bomb, you’ll tell me.”
  • Riley: “I can talk to you because I trust you. I don’t want her mom to hear this.”

You’re stuck in the middle of a family soap opera where the main conflict is who gets to read the diary.

The Verdict (according to the Reddit community)​

NTA. Riley is lucky to have you. Tell MIL you’ll speak up if something dangerous pops up, but otherwise keep being her safe space.

The community basically says: “You’re the guardian angel here, not the mole.” They even suggest a “mandatory reporting script” for the future, so you’re ready if something truly concerning comes up. In short, your role is “confidant”, not “secret‑keeper.”

Community Reactions (in a nutshell)​

  • Confidant‑Champion
    “You’re the safe space for a teenager, that’s a precious thing.”
    Emoji: 😇

  • Future‑Proofer
    “Let her know you’ll have her back unless she hints at danger.”
    Emoji: 🚨

  • Trust‑Keeper
    “You’re NTA! Keep doing what you’re doing.”
    Emoji: 👍

  • Family‑Guardian
    “You’re great at making Riley feel comfortable.”
    Emoji: 💖

  • Straight‑Up NTA
    “You’re not the villain, you’re the hero.”
    Emoji: 🦸‍♀️

TL;DR​

You’re the secret‑keeper, MIL’s the secret‑hungry, and the teen’s the one who needs a shoulder. The internet says: Keep the teen’s secrets safe unless something dangerous pops up—then, you know, call the cops. Stay the hero, not the mole.