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AITA for refusing to drive my husband home from his colonoscopy

· 4 min read

The Setup​

Picture this: a husband who has been nagging about a colonoscopy for months, a wife who’s been gently (and aggressively) reminding him about the appointment, and an entire holiday itinerary that gets tangled like a fresh batch of colon tissue.

  1. September – The husband gets a doctor’s note: colonoscopy needed.
  2. October – Wife gives a friendly reminder.
  3. November – Still no appointment scheduled.
  4. December – Wife hammers the point home: “Schedule it before the year ends—insurance is practically free.”

The husband finally says, “I’ve booked it for the 19th.”
The 19th is the exact day the family was supposed to be in North‑East for the holidays.

He then adds a plot twist: “We’ll wait until after my colonoscopy and then drive there.”
That means a seven‑plus‑hour solo night drive for the wife, which she’s notoriously not great at. She’d rather do it in the morning.

She offers a compromise: “Let’s postpone until after the 1st.”
He says no—he’s on a budget, so he wants to avoid extra costs.

Fast forward: he pushes the date to Wednesday the 17th and asks her to pick him up at 12:30.
She can’t because she’s a teacher, and that’s the busiest time of year (lunch hour + after‑school parent‑conference + a party she’s hosting + a big project with parents).

He accuses her of being “rigid,” “selfish,” and “not caring about him.”
She counters: “I can’t just bail on my class for 30 minutes, especially when he’s under general anesthesia. What if it takes longer than 30 minutes? I’ll be there if it’s an emergency. This isn’t one.”

She explains she has parents coming over, a party she’s leading, and a parent conference.
He says, “You can figure it out; I’ll do it for you.”
She’s not giving a week’s notice for something that will require her to take a day off.
She says, “I don’t care if we pay more; I’m not going to sacrifice my schedule for a last‑minute appointment.”
He calls her a “shit” and says “family first, now isn’t talking me.”

So, is she the villain or the hero?

The Comment Section (Rewritten for Fun)​

Comment 1
“Is he always this disrespectful of your time and your opinion? He sounds unbearably rude to just flat out take no responsibility for his own procedure and just putting it all on you.”
Me (the blog): “Apparently, he’s perfected the art of the ‘I’ll handle it later’ dance, and every time the music stops, he’s left standing on the floor of responsibility.”

Comment 2
“He sounds like a petulant child! Hey honey. I was extremely lazy and irresponsible and waited until the very last minute to schedule my appointment, even though you asked me several times not to do that. Now that I’ve scheduled it for a week out, I’m gonna need you to drop everything, piss your boss off, and do shit my way… Or you’re a selfish piece of sht who doesn’t love me.”*
Me (the blog): “The husband is basically saying: ‘I’m a procrastinating, lazy colon-culous adult. Now you’re my personal chauffeur. Either we do it or you’re my ‘piece of sh*t.’”
TL;DR: He’s basically a one‑hour‑late, “I’ll do it for you” adult.

Comment 3
“NTA. 'He would do it for you' but he didn’t care enough about your schedule to check before, or to book it months ago when he should have.”
Me (the blog): “The husband’s love letter reads: ‘I’ll do it for you… if you’re willing to be my personal life manager.’”

Comment 4
“fr ‘would do it for you’ yeah eventually maybe. but also… he wouldn’t need to do it for her because she probably has more respect for his time than he has for her!”
Me (the blog): “Apparently, the wife has a master’s degree in time‑management. The husband? He’s still figuring out which calendar he’s using.”

Comment 5
“NTA. His lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part.”
Me (the blog): “When life gives you a last‑minute colonoscopy, the wife can choose to either drive her husband through a dark, long night or sit in a classroom and pretend it’s a ‘learning experience.’”

TL;DR (Because We All Love a TL;DR)​

In short: The husband procrastinated, the wife has a schedule that’s tighter than the colon’s inner lining, and the wife refused to become a one‑hour chauffeur. The wife is not a villain—she’s a time‑management wizard. The husband is just a procrastin‑colon‑culous adult who forgot his own appointment. So, NTA.

(Disclaimer: No colonoscopy was harmed in the writing of this article.)