AITA for telling my girlfriend I won’t play with her until she learns to accept losing?
“I’m an experienced chess player, playing this game for as long as I can remember, probably since I was 4 or 5 years old. My extended family loved chess, so I grew up in an environment where I could very easily learn and practice it. My current rating is 1950+.”
“My girlfriend is at a lower intermediate level. She learned chess from me during the lockdown, but then took a long break. She started playing regularly a couple of months ago. She mostly plays online against opponents at her level, but she plays with me almost daily on a physical board. The problem (for her) is, I always win.”
“When she was a beginner, I used to give her wins and tips to help her build the concepts, but now I don’t do that. I believe she should play fairly now, and chess is a game that requires focus, time, and mental effort. Playing it just to give away wins seems too much.”
“However, she gets mildly annoyed. Yesterday, when I was clearly winning, she flipped the board in anger. It wasn’t as a joke, she was serious. This really pissed me, felt disrespected. So I boldly told her to better stick to online play until she starts accepting losses like an adult and handles the game maturely.”
“AITA she got upset”
The Comments – because the internet never sleeps
INFO: I am tempted to say ESH, but what is her ELO? If it's below 1500-1600, you probably should not be playing, or at the very least play 960 (with a randomized back row to take away an advantage from studying openings)
For reference, for non-chess players, 1900+ is a very high ELO (best 1% on chess dot com). The point of ELO is to set up fair games among similarly‑skilled players. She shouldn't be throwing a tantrum, but also not cool to say things like “better stick to online” and “accept losses like an adult” to someone with a much lower skill level.
“Better stick to online” is chess shit talk it seems. It’s similar to what someone would tell me at the end of a bad PvP game 😠
Would this be like me trying to return a serve from Serena in tennis? I mean, we’re not the same level at all, so I get that.
ESH. She shouldn’t be flipping boards in frustration. You shouldn’t be so patronizing.
ESH. I get making it enjoyable for you too, but what’s the endgame here? She’s somehow gonna get as good as you? You’ve been playing for decades. I just think it’s so fundamentally foolish for y’all to play period knowing you’re gonna win every time.
TL;DR
A chess‑savvy guy tells his less‑savvy girlfriend to stop playing with him until she can handle losing, she flips the board, he calls her an adult, and the internet gives him the ultimate “ESH” verdict. Chess: 1️⃣, Patience: 0️⃣. 🏁♟️