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AITA for telling my sister not to come to my wedding if she kept bringing up her miscarriage?

· 4 min read

The Great Wedding‑Mis‑Match​

Picture this: you’re planning the most important day of your life—your wedding. You’re picturing the perfect bouquet, the perfect “I do,” and the perfect “We’re all here for the celebration.” Then, boom! Your younger sister, Jen, decides that the only way to keep the day real is to keep reminding everyone that she lost a baby at nine weeks, three years ago.

Jen’s story:

  • 3 years ago, she had a miscarriage at 9 weeks.
  • Her partner Scott left her, citing the miscarriage as the reason (but we’ll get to that later).
  • She’s been a walking‑about‑a‑baby‑gone, mis‑grief‑in‑human‑form.
  • She’s your maid of honor.
  • She’s been everywhere at your engagement party, crying over a baby‑blue rose.
  • She’s even tried on a maternity bridesmaid dress in the middle of a “wedding planning” meeting.
  • She’s set a “no baby talk” rule for your hen‑party.
  • She’s called your pregnant bridesmaid “not invited” because she “can’t maintain her peace.”

You, the narrator, are the guy who’s trying to keep the wedding sane and says: “If you’re going to keep bringing up the miscarriage, you’re not invited.”

And now you’re on Reddit asking if you’re the asshole.

Why This is a Comedy‑Drama in the Making​

  • The Mis‑Grief‑Mania: Jen has turned her three‑year‑old loss into a career‑level event‑planner.
  • The Wedding‑Rule‑Enforcer: You’re basically a wedding‑counselor with a hard‑line “no baby‑blue” policy.
  • The “I‑Did‑It‑Because‑She‑Cheated” Twist: Turns out the breakup with Scott was actually about cheating, not the miscarriage.
  • The “Weaponised Grief” Revelation: She’s using grief as a weapon, like a “black‑mail” strategy for emotional support.

You’ve basically got a soap‑opera set in a bridal shop.

TL;DR​

Jen keeps reminding everyone about her 3‑year‑old miscarriage, you set “no baby talk” rules, she calls a pregnant bridesmaid out, you tell her she’s uninvited, and now Reddit is asking if you’re an asshole. Spoiler: The answer is mostly no, but you might want to give Jen a little more therapy.

The Comments (Cheezburger‑Style Edition)​

Comment 1
“NTA. She needs some major therapy. She lost a baby she was barely pregnant with 3 years ago. Not that the loss will go away, but the fact that everything in her life is run by it is not at all healthy.”
— A therapist in disguise.

Comment 2
“It sounds like the sister likes being the center of attention more than anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if she's not actually that upset but wants to be a victim and coddled all the time.”
— The “I’ve seen this before” type.

Comment 3
“no wearing baby blue. Your sister has lost her damn mind. NTA. Honestly, I would consider her cutting her out of your life along with the wedding.”
— The “blue‑dress‑banned” fan club.

Comment 4
“And not to be insensitive, but 9 weeks is fairly early. Its still upsetting and grief is grief, but you really gotta work through it.”
— The “I feel your pain” crowd.

Comment 5
“It’s been three years AND she was 9 weeks... That’s not the same as carrying to say 4‑5 months and losing the pregnancy.”
— The “three‑year‑old, 9‑week‑old” rationalizer.

Comment 6
“Honestly it’s offensive to those who have lost pregnancies that were much further along. That STILL don’t act like this.”
— The “I’m not the only one with a heartbreak” voice.

Comment 7
“She found what she thinks is a catch‑all attention getting and act however I want excuse because if you mention miscarriage people back off.”
— The “miscarriage‑trigger‑fear” observer.

Comment 8
“NTA. If you’re going to keep bringing up the miscarriage, you’re not invited.”
— The “you’re not invited” echo chamber.

Bottom line: Jen’s grief is getting a bit too on‑stage for your wedding‑theatre. You’re not an asshole for setting boundaries—just a wedding‑planner with a conscience. And maybe, just maybe, a little extra counseling could keep the drama from turning into a full‑blown reality show.

Happy planning, and may your bouquet be forever baby‑blue‑free!