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AITAH for tidying my home office to my standards?

· 3 min read

TL;DR: He keeps his office a “work‑friendly mess.” His girlfriend thinks it’s a clean‑up zone and is ready to lock the door. The verdict? NTA, but maybe lock it.

The Setup​

Picture a tiny three‑bedroom apartment where the smallest room has been declared the office—the sacred space where our hero (let’s call him Alex) can stare at spreadsheets and pretend to be productive. He’s got a strict rule: when the door is closed, the girlfriend (call her Mia) is not allowed in. Easy, right? Not so fast.

Alex explains that the office is his domain, and he will be the only one to clean it. Mia, however, takes the “tidy‑up” role very seriously. Every weekend cleaning spree ends with her waltzing into the office, rummaging through drawers, and rearranging the desk as if it’s a game of Jenga. Alex calls out, “Stop! I’ve got my own system.” Mia counters, “It’s messy! It’s not tidy enough!”

The debate escalates: Mia demands more frequent cleaning. Alex insists his desk is just “work stuff” and that a little clutter is a sign of creative chaos. He’s convinced that the office is clean enough to avoid a “hygienic hazard.” But Mia thinks the entire apartment should be a pristine shrine.

The Conflict​

Alex: “The door is closed, so you’re not supposed to go in.”
Mia: “It’s still messy. I’ll tidy it up.”
Alex: “I leave my papers exactly where I can find them tomorrow. That’s my professional method.”
Mia: “It’s not tidy! It’s a mess. It should match the rest of the apartment.”
Alex: “It’s my office. I work best when my desk looks like a disaster zone.”

The argument hits a crescendo when Mia pulls a “lock” out of her purse—no, not a padlock, but a metaphorical one—suggesting that Alex should literally lock the door to keep her from barging in. Alex, feeling like a security guard, counters with “NTA” (Not The Asshole) and a subtle hint that the lock might just make life easier for both.

The Reddit Reactions​

NTA – “It doesn’t sound like there’s any reason for her to even go in there. Time for a lock, maybe. But that’ll just create more drama.”

NTA – “If she can’t respect your space, get a lock for the door.”

NTA – “She needs to unclench.”

BOT – “I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.”

BOT – “Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.”

OP (the original poster) – “Just to clarify, the room is clean so I’ll dust, vacuum, remove mugs and things. It’s just a bit of mess that is on the desk… not unhygienic.”

Mia – “The office should be tidied with the rest of the apartment.”

Alex – “It’s my space, and I leave it how I like it. That’s how I work best.”

The Verdict​

  • Alex is not the asshole.
  • Mia might be a little over‑enthusiastic about cleanliness.
  • A lock on the door could help both parties—Alex keeps his “creative chaos,” Mia keeps the apartment tidy, and the door stays closed.

TL;DR​

Alex’s office is a clean chaos zone, Mia is on a tidy‑up crusade, and the only solution that might make both happy is a lock. Verdict: NTA (but maybe lock it).