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Coworker Threatened to Shoot the Place Up for Not Believing His Lies

· 4 min read

Picture this: a beige cubicle farm, endless copy machines, and a coworker named Dave who decides one day that the company's health insurance policy is a gold mine of lies. He spills the beans, admits it's a fraud, and then—just for kicks—threatens to bring his AR (any rifle, apparently) and shoot the whole office. The hero of our tale steps in, reports the menace, and the corporate overlords send a soothing email saying everything is "okay now." But the hero is not so easily appeased. He threatens the police, the FBI, and ultimately gets Dave fired. Years later, our hero is fired for demanding a raise. Classic workplace drama, right? Well, here's the full saga, rewritten in a style that keeps the humor as sharp as Dave’s alleged weapon.

The Original Tale (Rewritten for Comic Relief)​

It was a decade ago, in an office so sterile it could have been a whiteboard. I, the narrator, was a humble worker who occasionally had to walk down the hallway to collaborate on projects. One day, I encountered a coworker—let's call him Dave—who was practically next door to the guy I was talking to. Dave, with the enthusiasm of a rogue tax auditor, decided to share his grand plan: how to make a fortune by exploiting the company’s health insurance. He didn’t just talk about it; he admitted it was a lie and fraud—but that’s not the part that got us.

At the climax of his story, Dave asked if I believed him. I, ever the skeptic, replied, “I don’t believe a single word you say.” He didn’t flinch. Instead, his eyes turned from “just a coworker” to “this is gonna get nasty.” He snapped, said “that’s bullshit,” and then, with the gravity of a dramatic monologue, announced, “I’ll bring my AR in here and shoot this fucking place up.”

I didn’t go to the gun shop. I went to the supervisor. The supervisor called his supervisor. The chain of command marched like a well‑ordered line of office chairs. The next day, management sent me an email: “We had a talk with Dave and everything is okay now.” I replied, “No, everything is not okay now. Dave needs some professional counseling at minimum.” They replied, “No, it is all over now and everyone can move on.” I replied, “If you’re going to do nothing, I will report this to the local police and the FBI and see what they say.” They fired Dave. He was gone. I stayed for another year, then they fired me for asking for a raise. And that, dear reader, is the story.

Comments (No Names, Just the Stuff)​

  • i believe that middle management is this incompetent
  • I don't believe a word of this story.
  • Bruh be careful. His eyes are gonna change now and something is gonna snap inside of him. 0_o
  • I don't believe that you don't believe a single word of a story in r/coworkerstories. If this is true, why are you here reading anything?
  • If this AI, this is an insane story. Threatening to shoot up your workplace is grounds for immediate termination and cops getting called.

TL;DR​

Coworker Dave admits to health insurance fraud, threatens to shoot up the office, gets fired, and the narrator gets fired for asking for a raise. Classic workplace drama: someone says "I won't believe you," someone else says "I might shoot you," and the HR department just emails you "everything is fine." The moral of the story? Always keep a copy of your raise letter in a safe place, and never underestimate the power of a well‑timed email.