Skip to main content

UPDATE: WIBTA if I told our parents what my brother has been telling me in confidence?

· 4 min read

TL;DR:
One sister‑in‑law’s “just a friendly chat” turns into a full‑blown family intervention, and the result? A depressed brother in therapy, a new career dream, and matching pajama pants. All in one post.

It’s been a decade since the original post went up—ten months of medical mishaps, a lease‑taking solo mission, and a degree that seemed to have a life of its own. The 24‑year‑old narrator finally decides to update, and spoiler alert: she never actually told the parents.

The “Why I Didn’t Tell” Reasoning​

The original “would I be the asshole” question turned into a “what if I had told them” scenario. The comments (read: a chorus of wise‑cracking Redditors) convinced her that spilling the secret would only add fuel to an already smoldering family furnace. So she stayed silent.

Instead, she became the inquisitive sister‑in‑law. She started asking the right questions about how her brother was doing. The real heroes turned out to be his roommates, who were more than happy to gossip. They told the parents about their brother “rotting” in the apartment and skipping class. The parents, now fully in the loop, took the plunge: they medically withdrew him from university and brought him home for therapy.

The Big Turn‑around​

Fast forward to the present:

  • Lou (20) is now on a steady medication regimen and has actually graduated from the chaos of college life.
  • He’s landed a job at the family business (the dad’s office), which feels like a victory for the entire family.
  • He’s discovered a newfound passion for radiology tech, a career that might just involve fewer “rot” moments.
  • And—hold the phone—he’s got a friend who’s “just good friends with” him, and she even bought them matching pajama pants. Apparently, matching PJ’s are the new therapy.

The narrator ends on a hopeful note: “While we may not be thick as thieves, he's still my little brother and I care deeply for him.” And she’s relieved that the saga has a satisfying, almost heartwarming conclusion.

What the Reddit Army Had to Say​

This is a lovely update with really good news (though it sounds like you really went through the wringer this year), thanks for sharing.

Hugs to you all. Glad he’s getting real help. I’d take some time to learn from this yourself. You recognize some of the unhealthy things your parents did. Maybe you have other things impacting you too. What are you doing to learn how to maneuver these things more effectively in the future along with ensuring you don’t fall down a hole yourself. Just something to think about.

Well done for navigating that situation. Supporting family is crucial, and it's brilliant to see positive changes. Just keep being there for him; that's what matters most.

Regardless if it's just friendship or it's something more its great that Lou has someone he's gotten close with especially while battling depression. I'm glad your parents handled this with the vision of helping Lou and not trying to just fix him as well.

People who never learned that it's ok to change your mind are never happy.

I was medically withdrawn my first year over 20 years ago I was not prepared for college

I worked for a bit and then I went back to a different major I loved and graduated

He'll do what he needs to in his time 🤗

Bottom line:
If you’re wondering whether you’re the asshole for spilling family secrets, remember that sometimes the best intervention is a quiet question, a well‑timed roommate confession, and a willingness to let the family do the heavy lifting. And always keep an eye out for those matching pajamas—because if anyone’s learning how to treat depression, it’s probably the one who’s got a new career and a new set of sleepwear.